Wondering Where I've Been?

I'll bet.

My problem is that I need reinforcement. A lot sometimes. And occasionally my jokes don't land and that's the worst. And I just plain ran out of steam on this, but I think I have a way back in.

And truth to tell, I don't know where to go next. Twitter? Facebook? Email? A postcard? Knock on your front door? It's exhausting.

Anyway, I am about to make a major announcement. So please return. I've figured out the key to success and I want to share it with everyone. No selective networking for me.

It will be my gift to all.

So stay tuned.

Can you tell? Does it show?

So I lost my job - my position was eliminated. Due to a downturn in business. Nothing personal and I get that. But it's hard to take any way.

Today, after I left outplacement, I went grocery shopping and I noticed a couple of men who were dressed professionally and were probably on their way home after work.

I felt self-conscious. Like they could tell I didn't have a job. Was it because I kept picking up items and checking the price and re-shelfing them? Could they read my mind? I looked over my shoulder a couple of times to see if they were looking. Am I wearing a big red E on my chest? Is there an arrow over my head pointing at me?

C'mon motivation and positive thoughts. Come and get me.

Project Runway Australia

If you're a fan of Regular Project Runway, you'll feel right at home watching PRA. From the leggy blonde host with an accent to the best one-liners on the tee-vee, this one is a pleasure.

The designers seem to get along, it's only been two episdoes after all, and the result is that they're just funnier to listen to and to watch. They are a diverse group, at least three are in their 40's, straight, gay, tattooed and not. All very watchable and several to care about.

I laughed out loud throughout the two episdoes which have been posted to blogginprojectrunway.

Nana's girdle ...

beaver (!) ...

knickers ...

bum flap ...

eat some lollies ...

soggy porridge ...

i don't need handcuffs to keep a man in my bedroom ...

she looks like cuppuccino ....

safe and boring (aaaah, Nina G) ....

and ... numerous F-bombs and the s-word.

Lots of fun!

Many Thanks

Thanks to all for your words of encouragement. Much appreciated!

I Think I Smelled a Rose This Morning

It was kind of a sweet moment. I have a neighbor lady who walks her yellow Lab. They're both in their senior years. The pup has some type of problem because he moves both front legs at the same time instead of one after the other.

Well, she was walking her Lab with the lady who has the rescued Greyhound and as they came around the corner so did another lady who was walking only herself.

The lady sans pup yelled out "oh, my little kiddies" and both the ladies and the two pups smiled at her. The pups also wagged their tails.

I guess I should find moments like these every day during this period?

Another Comment On the Behaviors of Those Who Have Jobs

Let's call her Weasel, for fun, and that's because she's a sneaky corporate cheat. That sounds pretty mean. She was actually my very first friend there.

She just emailed me again, wishing me well.

In the message she said that she had just gotten back from a revitalizing walk in the valley.

What gets me is that she took a long lunch hour to do it. Without permission. She just did it.

A few weeks ago when they cut our salaries and other programs, it humbled me to try to be even more responsible.

Once again. Who doesn't get it? Them or me?

Someone tell me.

Will I Do it Again the Same Way?

Here's what's on my mind about this situation right now.

I know that yesterday morning, the same people who walked in late and took their time getting started before the axe fell behaved exactly the same way. The fact that several people in our own small group no longer had jobs doesn't make an impression on them at all.

As a matter of fact, one of my former co-workers (I tried to spell colleague but it didn't look right) posted on her Facebook that she 'was sad for Mark' and two people who worked in adjacent workstations to me posted replies.

From work!

On their personal FB pages!

They don't get it.

Or maybe I'm the one who doesn't get it.

Is it becasue I was raised by Great Depression Era parents? Work hard, come in early, stay late, don't make personal phone calls. Vacation requests are submitted in the form of a question, not a statement. Be a good boy.

That's how I behaved and look where it got me.

No where to go on a sunny day because if I went somewhere, I'd feel guilty.

That'll be a thought for another time, my friends.

What?! Again?! Job Eliminated

After a week's worth of vacation, I returned to my place with a bright shiny face on time, one half hour early at 7:30 am yesterday.

I noticed my boss was in - unusual but no terribly so - and I sat down to start opening e-mail. Just after 8 I noticed her leaving her office heading toward aisle number 1. I'm in aisle number 2. She returned a second or two later with my nemesis, Tossy for fun and into our veep's office. Door closed. Never a good sign.

They exited not too much later and within 15 minutes she came and got me. I didn't see it coming. I thought I was safe for the short term of two to six months.

Our veep, Empty for fun, simply said my position was eliminated and yesterday was my last day. I spent about two minutes with the outplacement folks and returned to my workstation to pack up my stuff.

Tossy stayed for hours, throwing things out. How odd, I thought? She's been terminated, her email is turned off but she's permitted to throw files out?!

I didn't do that. I didn't straighten up anything. I didn't leave a list of to-dos or nuthin'. They can do it.

So here am I am again. 54, bald and unemployed. But a killer tan from a week at the pool and a pretty flat waistline from all the walking and bean recipes from the Weasel, or, Mimi as someone yet to be named calls her. For Weasel, it's all about her, or, me,me, me and thus Mimi. I prefer Weasel because she is.

There's nothing anyone can say. I feel differently every day. Right now I'm cooking chicken becuase no one invited the unemployed to dinner.

Do I have to end this or just stop typing

what i did on my summer vacation

1. sat in the sun by the pool

2. looked at the view from the pool - northeast up the hudson river and nary a sign of the tz bridge

3. walked up and down the hill

4. window shopped in nyack; with a recent 9% pay cut, how else can i shop?!

5. took the ladies sightseeing. the ladies are my mom and two aunts. the sightseeing was to constitution island off the point of west point

6. thought about doing constructive things

Mark My Words - for starters

i'm mark. i tend to write in lower case. i dont' know why but it might just be laziness and that's surprising becuase i'm typically not a lazy man.

some days i have observations i can't wait to share and since my friend nbl with whom i like to share things with is busy mothering and such, maybe this is the place to do it.

so it starts with this. now what do i do?